Take Your Banker to Lunch Day

This is a friendly reminder that tomorrow, October 13, is Take Your Banker to Lunch Day. As you may recall, this is a gentle transition for the Bankers as they ease into the post-Columbus Day long holiday while nursing a hangover. It is , discreetly, the anniversary of another hangover, the takeover of bankrupt Lehman Brothers by Nomura Holdings, Inc. A foretelling of the future, perhaps, as power and money transition from West to East. And for you, it is your chance to put a personal face on the public whom they lunch off of every other day.

Please bear with me as I cover some of the finer points of Bank Lunch etiquette. It goes without saying that you have booked the most expensive and exclusive restaurant in town for this lunch. Plan to pay for this with the new savings your neo frugal lifestyle has engendered. You know, of course, that your bankster, ah, Banker, will order the most expensive food and wine on the menu...perhaps you weren't aware that the finer pontificates of Banker etiquette would have you cutting their meat and spoon feeding it to them.

Croon soothing noises, avoiding sudden movements as Bankers are very skittish and prone to cut and run. Some table hopping on their part is expected; they may very well be lunching with three parties at once. This is well within the boundaries of their normal behavior, and nothing to be excited about. When you leave the waitperson a tip, it's important to tip 20% as the Banker will scoop up 4% for themselves. This is personal habit, as they are so used to receiving Federal (ah, yours, originally) Money at 0% interest and then loaning it back to the Feds at 4% interest. Those jokers, aren't they cute?

Above all, please don't take a page from Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA) , as he asked Richard Fuld: "Your company is now bankrupt, our economy is in crisis, but you get to keep $480 million (£276 million). I have a very basic question for you, is this fair?" Your Banker will be completely bewildered by this question. Fair is so relative.