Kids Don't Listen?

Today I learned the most horrible, shocking news: my kid (DS, 15) actually doesn't listen to me. I don't mean when he has ipod glued to his head... he's so used to having earbuds in that he leaves them in when we've forbidden music during homework. Not having them inserted feels strange and unnatural to him, and I confess that I have difficulty recognizing him without them.

No, I mean the worst kind of "doesn't listen": he doesn't listen when I ,and, apparently, his other two parental units, Dad and Mid-Evil-Step-Dad (he truly tries to be evil, but it just isn't in his nature) are imparting parental advice and governance. He has a vague idea of the topic...and after that he just tunes out.

DS Matt (a.k.a. Mid-Evil- Step-Dad) is amused that I even imagined that DS listened to lectures. Understand, people pay me a lot of money per an hour for the kind of advice I'm dispensing to The Kid. These people hang on my every word; they laugh, they cry...they schedule appointments six months in advance. So, I'm amazed when I realize that The Kid doesn't listen.

Background story: DS is flunking Chemistry at the community college. He's 15, so his admittance there is shaky anyway, he cannot afford to fail. And, he has worked on the wrong Chemistry homework, due today. Would I drive him back to the college in an hour? Of course, but as every parent knows the price of admission to this party is the non-stop dispensation of advice each way.

Which advice he cannot recap to Mid-Evil Step-Dad upon arrival home. Hello? DS Matt said that I should have charged him for the ride. I think that I should have charged him for the advice. Then at least one of us would have something out of the experience. A kid should listen to his Momster.

[Update 1/13/09...kid mercifully passed Chemistry with a "C". Mom was waking up in the middle of the night with the Van Halen song "The Cradle Will Rock" ringing in my mind..."have you seen Juniors grades?!"]